The walk (part I of III)

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. - Hebrews 11:1

I came from a non-Christian family. Since young, I strongly believe that God exists. I see Him as a loving and caring God. I was constantly longing for a close and personal relationship with God. There was always this God-shaped vacuum in my heart.

I used to have very negative views on Christianity. Mostly due to bad experiences with Christians when I was young. I stereotyped them as hypocrites, anti-intellectual and narrow-minded fanatics. I just can’t fit into those images, and I don’t want to. I enjoy my individuality and don’t want to be forced into a mold. I’m not perfect, but I’m not any worse than anyone else. I’ve lived as good a life as anyone else. I don’t see a need for a Savior.

Later, close to 5 years ago, I went to this Church in town, invited by a friend. To my surprise, I attended it every week since. I came to a point where I know for certain that this IS the God my heart long for all these while. He just filled perfectly into that void in my heart. It’s not because of the sermon or the worship service (all in Mandarin!). It's also not a feeling or intuition; it's just something that I suddenly came to know!

Faith

"For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe, no explanation is possible." - Author Unknown

Patience

A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. - Proverbs 19:1

I struggle most with "Patience" among the fruits of the spirit. I get so easily irritated by long-winded people, especially on the phone. I also used to explode at slow driver in front of me. I also can’t tolerate people who keep on repeating the same questions. I’ll go nut when things doesn’t go the way I've planned because of somebody’s fault and carelessness. Although now, I’m able to quiet the impulse to curse and shout, I still get angry uncontrollably inside when wronged. Another area of my life is when making decision. I used to find it really difficult to wait for just about anything! Very often when I acted in haste and impatience, the frustration was even worst than at the start.

As I look upon Jesus, I realized being out of control and exhibiting anger at others are exactly the opposite of the character of God. God is slow to anger and full of mercy. I need to truly understand His Word on patience and to do my best to respond as Christ would in any given situation.

Be Thankful

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

My new apartment is near 90% complete in furnishing. Hopefully can get it done by this weekend. So far, it turned out exactly what I hope it will be and I love it! I’m so happy and thankful to God for it.

It’s funny as I recalled back 2 years ago, it happened so fast. I woke up one fine day and decided to get an apartment; drove nearby the neighborhood; saw few and finally decided on this. Within weeks settled all the agreements, loan and stuff. I know with the balance of my bank account at that time, I doubt I can comfortably afford it, but thank God with His blessing everything went smoothly until today.

Kindness

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. - Colossians 3:12

There was this very old man in my church who always asks for a ride home from whomever he can get hold of after church. I never like Him. I remember Him yelled rudely to one of the church member for almost knocking his car awhile ago. But I do see him as a lonely man, without relatives or children accompany him to church. He's always alone. I offered him a ride home today. He was so happy and invites me and my friend for a dinner together.

I don't feel like going as I've already planned to have a dinner with my friend somewhere else and shop for some stuff later. But, I saw in his eyes how badly he needs someone to accompany him for a simple dinner. I with my plastic smile, agree and we went for a dinner nearby his house. Although I prefer not to go, but I told myself, a small sacrifice like that can make someone else so much happier, it's worth doing it. The dinner was fine and I also get to know about his background and family. I have to learn doing kindness like this more often.

Pause

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. - Mark 1:35

Sang this wonderful hymn below today at the evening service. Reminds me of how all the busyness of my daily life blinded me from knowing the importance of taking time to be with Him. To pause and take time for God. So used to run before Him. Never think of the immense guidance He can provides if I were to seek Him first. Saving me from so much problems. No matter how busy in the coming days, I will pause and take time for Him.

Take time to be holy,
speak oft with thy Lord;
abide in him always,
and feed on his word.
Make friends of God's children,
help those who are weak,
forgetting in nothing
his blessing to seek.

Take time to be holy,
the world rushes on;
spend much time in secret
with Jesus alone.
By looking to Jesus,
like him thou shalt be;
thy friends in thy conduct
his likeness shall see.

Take time to be holy,
let him be thy guide,
and run not before him,
whatever betide.
In joy or in sorrow,
still follow the Lord,
and, looking to Jesus,
still trust in his word.

Take time to be holy,
be calm in thy soul,
each thought and each motive
beneath his control.
Thus led by his spirit
to fountains of love,
thou soon shalt be fitted
for service above.

Fruits of the Spirit

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. - Galatians 5:22-25

some fruits i'm busy growing right now..

love
joy
peace
patience
kindness
goodness
faithfulness
gentleness
self-control

While my life a mist

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes - James 4:14

Many things have happened in my life the last 4 years. Important changes that I might totally forget one day. Hopefully, this blog can help me to record them in some way. A reflection to what had happened. Also, for what is happening everyday. I'm a very forgetful person. A person that most of the time takes things for granted. In this case, God's good works in me. How many time I have hurt him again and again with my lack of trust and disobedience. How many times I need to remind myself that there's more to this than it is now...how many time I feel discouraged by petty things and wasted so much time and energy for meaningless pursuits.

I need to grow and continue to change, to be more like Him each day...
Lord Jesus, mold me.