The "Go" of Relationship

"If we are to be disciples of Jesus, we must be made disciples supernaturally. And as long as we consciously maintain the determined purpose to be His disciples, we can be sure that we are not disciples. Jesus says, "You did not choose Me, but I chose you . . ." ( John 15:16 ). That is the way the grace of God begins. It is a constraint we can never escape; we can disobey it, but we can never start it or produce it ourselves. We are drawn to God by a work of His supernatural grace, and we can never trace back to find where the work began. Our Lord’s making of a disciple is supernatural. He does not build on any natural capacity of ours at all. God does not ask us to do the things that are naturally easy for us— He only asks us to do the things that we are perfectly fit to do through His grace, and that is where the cross we must bear will always come."

- Oswald Chambers

The walk (part II of III)

This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God. - 1 John 5:3-5

About 2 years after I accepted Christ, I somewhat began to drift away from Him. I thought my salvation will never be jeopardized; even when I no longer continue on the road of discipleship. In other words, I believed that I can be saved and yet not being a follower of Christ. I’m a part-time Christian; living like I’m not a believer. My life stopped changing; produced either no fruit or bad fruit, and served only my own pleasures and not those of God. I was so certain and confidence that there will be no consequences to what I’m doing and I simply just don't care! I was fooling myself about my salvation and little do I realized that I was falling into apostasy.

Later, things begin to really fall apart, little by little like the work of termite. Frantically, I look everywhere for answers, quick fixes, and shortcuts; that don’t seem to exist. After all the exhaustion and desperation, I realized I came to a dead end. And at this time, He came for me. Welcoming me back with His open arms.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. - John 10:27-28

Through the whole experience, I saw a merciful God that loves me so much despite my deliberate action to walk away from Him. As I reflect on John 10:27-28; I realized that salvation and discipleship are both the same. We can't separate them. We can't claim to know Christ and not love Him; we can't love Him and not follow Him.

How to Become a Christian?

If you have been thinking of accepting Christ, do read on. I’ll share with you about how simple Christianity actually is. How anyone can become a Christian, if our heart is open to receive Him. There’s also a prayer towards the end, where you can pray to invite Christ into your heart and begin your life as a Christian. It’s that simple, really!

”God loves us deeply. Man was created to have a relationship with Him. But the relationship was broken when man turned away from God because of stubborn self-will. Man chose to go his own independent way. This attitude of rebellion is what the Bible calls sin. As a result, man was destined to an eternity separated from God. Man continually trying to reach God by his own efforts, through leading a good life; doing good deeds, philosophy, or religion. But, he inevitably fails…”

”But, God love us so much that the last thing He wanted to do is to punish us to hell. He wanted a loving relationship with man that will last for all eternity. To save us from eternal punishment, God became a human being in the person of Jesus Christ, 2000 years ago to restore our life and fellowship with Him. He lived a life without sin, but died on the cross to take our place for the punishment of our sin, even we were yet sinners…”
God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us ~ Romans 5:8

All we need to do is to believe that Jesus has died for our sin and joyfully open our heart to receive Him. When we commit our lives to live with Him, we are forgiven of our sins and given a new, free and eternal life from God. If you are ready to accept Christ into your life, respond to Him with the following prayer:

“God, I put my faith in what you have done for me through Jesus' death and resurrection. I confess how hard it is for me to believe, but I trust you to give me faith. I confess that I am a sinner, and I repent and ask your forgiveness. I depend on Jesus to save me from my sins and to give me eternal life. I want to obey Jesus as the Lord of my life. I don't know all that this means, but I will depend on him to show me as I go along. I know I cannot earn the right to be a Christian. I accept this right as a free gift. Thank you that you have forgiven my sins and help me to grow to be a faithful servant of Jesus Christ. Amen.”

If you have prayed the prayer above and truly accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, then you have made the single most important decision in your life! God will give you the strength to live this new, exciting life by faith. Welcome to the family! The next thing to do is to get yourself a Bible :)

Love

Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.

It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.

~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

The joy of giving

Give, and gifts will be given to you: a good measure, packed together, shaken down and overflowing, will be poured into your lap. - Luke 6:38

For years I’d been giving shamefully little into the offering bag. I’m awfully thrifty when I can’t see where my money goes. I always told myself, “hey, you can buy plenty of stuffs with that amount of money..don’t kid yourself, man!” and then went on to list those “stuffs” in mind and finally pulled out the smallest note that I can find! And for some reason, I've never got myself to understand the meaning behind Luke 6:38.

Until a year ago, there was this sermon about the joy of giving. It’s about putting God first in our life, joyfully give and serve others, and trust God to do His part. I finally managed to grasp the true meaning of giving. I started giving “ridiculously”. Without any hesitation or fear, I gave joyfully and willingly in money, time, services and helps to others. Up to today, I have been blessed far more than what I’ve ever expected. Most of the time, it caught me by surprise how creative He can be when comes to giving back to us!

We just need to acknowledge God owns everything; that all our possessions are ultimately His gift to us. Certainly, God doesn't need our offering. God wants us, the giver. He wants us to respond to His gifts to us. He wants to free us from life's possessions that taking hold of us. And He wants us to trust Him and understand how much He really does care. If we are sensitive to what is happening around us, we will realize that there are people who desperately need our generosity - the unloved, the underprivileged, the overworked, the exhausted, the lonely. He wants us to give ourselves in our entirety to people, to needs, and to opportunities; cheerfully, gladly, and joyfully!

Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. - 2 Corinthians 9:6-8

The wonders of life

You will do everything you have promised me; God, your faithful love endures forever. Complete the work that you have begun." - Psalm 138:8

Life was meant to be lived, life in all of its fullness, joy and peace. It’s like a wonderful stroll along an adventure path with God by your side. There are no accidents in life. Everything happened for a reason, a purpose. God is good and He’s the Ultimate Planner. It may sometimes seem as though nothing is happening but in reality something is in process. Just trust in Him and surrender, He is infinitely creative in meeting our deepest needs and giving us quality of life better to anything we could ever design on our own.

Forgiveness

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. - Ephesians 4:32

I did not talk to her for almost 5 years. I only answered when she asked for something. Most of the time; a short yes or no. I told myself this is the best I can do. I’ve tried very hard and for many years to forgive and forget, but I just can't. I've lost someone I used to care, trust and respect.

This was until I know Christ. It's when I know our need to forgive others because God has forgiven us. It's only through Him I received the power to forgive. I started to see how much this person has sacrificed and loved me. I remembered how she put up for me despite the difficulties and hardships of life; how she comforted me when I'm down and sick; how she worked so hard to give me a better life; how courageous she was when dealing with the impossibles; how she spend time planning and thinking for my tomorrow; how she tirelessly making things pleasant and beautiful everyday; how she has the amazing positive outlook on life despite the odds at hand; how creative and incredible she was in solving big and small problems; how she saved so much to make sure there's enough for my future; how she know my wants and needs and try her very best to provide; how afraid she is to trouble and interfere with my life; how thoughtful she is to other's feelings and conditions; how generously she gives and helps others; how unselfish she is to share with others; how she understand the pains and sufferings others are going through; how willingly she sacrificed her own comfort to make others feel better; how lovingly and dedicatedly she plays a dual role for us when dad no longer around; how hard she has been trying to be the best mother a son can ever have!

Rediscovery

I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil – this is the gift of God. - Ecclesiastes 3:12-13

Lately, I have been laughing so hard that at times it's almost painful. Get to know many interesting people; doing things I've not done in a long long time and having some small 'plans' to accomplish. I have the chance now to really rediscover what it means to give myself space to breathe. To do and enjoy what I always wanted to do. It's a nice feeling – to risk enough to enjoy as often as possible. I get to know myself better; of whom I really am. I’ve also started looking after myself better; to relax a bit more and to tell more jokes! I think it’s ok and 'necessary' to be a little selfish sometime :)

Letting go

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. - Romans 8: 1-2

I believe now there is only one thing we can change in life and that is our self. Not others. I used to be the “fixer” in a relationship. I was so busy in “rescuing”, “enabling”, “comforting” and “healing” all the times. I saw myself become powerless in the face of demands and doing things I do not really want to. I told myself other will come around and change eventually. But in the process, I lost my own self.

God has been leading me to let go and detach. He was there with me and helping me as I stepped out and walked through the healing process. Eventhough it's been awhile, it was only through Him and His “angels” that I gained the strength and clarity to free myself from guilt and self-condemnation for ending the relationship. Thank You Lord for renewing, teaching and leading me to have healthy, wholesome, happy and joyful relationships in my life! (thanks CP!)

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
(poem - author unknown)

To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.

To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.

To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more!

The little things

Again he said, "What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it? It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest seed you plant in the ground. Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds of the air can perch in its shade. - Mark 4:30-32

I used to focus entirely on the hope for an extraordinary breakthrough and change in a situation in my life. I recklessly overlooked the little things and details; daily and locally. I’d never think about the real problem behind my action, though it seems the right and ‘heroic’ thing to do. I was also making myself victim to a situation at the expense of being a truthful person. Later, when things begin to crumble, I started to search for answers.

Now as I looked back, I’m able to discern a pattern. I see that God has been faithfully with me all these while, accomplishing His unfathomable will for my life. He has been working all things out for good despite my choices. People were changed and lives been transformed. I’ve learnt that any important decision in future matters less than what we do every day, the commitments to build and lay the foundation for what is to come. The more diligent and faithful I am now, the greater my capacity to do the will of God later on.

"We cannot become truly good in a better, more marvelous, and yet easier way than by the simple use of the means offered us by God: the ready acceptance of all that comes to us at each moment of our lives." — Jean Pierre de Caussade quoted in The Inner Treasure by Jonathan Star

Gracious uncertainty

Nothing best describes my walk with Christ than one of the daily reading below from the classic My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers.

GRACIOUS UNCERTAINTY

"...it has not yet been revealed what we shall be." 1 John 3:2

Our natural inclination is to be so precise — trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next — that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We think that we must reach some predetermined goal, but that is not the nature of the spiritual life. The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty. Consequently, we do not put down roots. Our common sense says, "Well, what if I were in that circumstance?" We cannot presume to see ourselves in any circumstance in which we have never been.

Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life — gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God.

As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises. When we become simply a promoter or a defender of a particular belief, something within us dies. That is not believing God — it is only believing our belief about Him. Jesus said, "...unless you...become as little children..." ( Matthew 18:3 ). The spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, just uncertain of what He is going to do next. If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self-righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled. But when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy.

Jesus said, "...believe also in Me" ( John 14:1 ), not, "Believe certain things about Me". Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in — but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him.

The walk (part I of III)

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. - Hebrews 11:1

I came from a non-Christian family. Since young, I strongly believe that God exists. I see Him as a loving and caring God. I was constantly longing for a close and personal relationship with God. There was always this God-shaped vacuum in my heart.

I used to have very negative views on Christianity. Mostly due to bad experiences with Christians when I was young. I stereotyped them as hypocrites, anti-intellectual and narrow-minded fanatics. I just can’t fit into those images, and I don’t want to. I enjoy my individuality and don’t want to be forced into a mold. I’m not perfect, but I’m not any worse than anyone else. I’ve lived as good a life as anyone else. I don’t see a need for a Savior.

Later, close to 5 years ago, I went to this Church in town, invited by a friend. To my surprise, I attended it every week since. I came to a point where I know for certain that this IS the God my heart long for all these while. He just filled perfectly into that void in my heart. It’s not because of the sermon or the worship service (all in Mandarin!). It's also not a feeling or intuition; it's just something that I suddenly came to know!

Faith

"For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe, no explanation is possible." - Author Unknown

Patience

A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. - Proverbs 19:1

I struggle most with "Patience" among the fruits of the spirit. I get so easily irritated by long-winded people, especially on the phone. I also used to explode at slow driver in front of me. I also can’t tolerate people who keep on repeating the same questions. I’ll go nut when things doesn’t go the way I've planned because of somebody’s fault and carelessness. Although now, I’m able to quiet the impulse to curse and shout, I still get angry uncontrollably inside when wronged. Another area of my life is when making decision. I used to find it really difficult to wait for just about anything! Very often when I acted in haste and impatience, the frustration was even worst than at the start.

As I look upon Jesus, I realized being out of control and exhibiting anger at others are exactly the opposite of the character of God. God is slow to anger and full of mercy. I need to truly understand His Word on patience and to do my best to respond as Christ would in any given situation.

Be Thankful

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

My new apartment is near 90% complete in furnishing. Hopefully can get it done by this weekend. So far, it turned out exactly what I hope it will be and I love it! I’m so happy and thankful to God for it.

It’s funny as I recalled back 2 years ago, it happened so fast. I woke up one fine day and decided to get an apartment; drove nearby the neighborhood; saw few and finally decided on this. Within weeks settled all the agreements, loan and stuff. I know with the balance of my bank account at that time, I doubt I can comfortably afford it, but thank God with His blessing everything went smoothly until today.

Kindness

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. - Colossians 3:12

There was this very old man in my church who always asks for a ride home from whomever he can get hold of after church. I never like Him. I remember Him yelled rudely to one of the church member for almost knocking his car awhile ago. But I do see him as a lonely man, without relatives or children accompany him to church. He's always alone. I offered him a ride home today. He was so happy and invites me and my friend for a dinner together.

I don't feel like going as I've already planned to have a dinner with my friend somewhere else and shop for some stuff later. But, I saw in his eyes how badly he needs someone to accompany him for a simple dinner. I with my plastic smile, agree and we went for a dinner nearby his house. Although I prefer not to go, but I told myself, a small sacrifice like that can make someone else so much happier, it's worth doing it. The dinner was fine and I also get to know about his background and family. I have to learn doing kindness like this more often.

Pause

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. - Mark 1:35

Sang this wonderful hymn below today at the evening service. Reminds me of how all the busyness of my daily life blinded me from knowing the importance of taking time to be with Him. To pause and take time for God. So used to run before Him. Never think of the immense guidance He can provides if I were to seek Him first. Saving me from so much problems. No matter how busy in the coming days, I will pause and take time for Him.

Take time to be holy,
speak oft with thy Lord;
abide in him always,
and feed on his word.
Make friends of God's children,
help those who are weak,
forgetting in nothing
his blessing to seek.

Take time to be holy,
the world rushes on;
spend much time in secret
with Jesus alone.
By looking to Jesus,
like him thou shalt be;
thy friends in thy conduct
his likeness shall see.

Take time to be holy,
let him be thy guide,
and run not before him,
whatever betide.
In joy or in sorrow,
still follow the Lord,
and, looking to Jesus,
still trust in his word.

Take time to be holy,
be calm in thy soul,
each thought and each motive
beneath his control.
Thus led by his spirit
to fountains of love,
thou soon shalt be fitted
for service above.

Fruits of the Spirit

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. - Galatians 5:22-25

some fruits i'm busy growing right now..

love
joy
peace
patience
kindness
goodness
faithfulness
gentleness
self-control

While my life a mist

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes - James 4:14

Many things have happened in my life the last 4 years. Important changes that I might totally forget one day. Hopefully, this blog can help me to record them in some way. A reflection to what had happened. Also, for what is happening everyday. I'm a very forgetful person. A person that most of the time takes things for granted. In this case, God's good works in me. How many time I have hurt him again and again with my lack of trust and disobedience. How many times I need to remind myself that there's more to this than it is now...how many time I feel discouraged by petty things and wasted so much time and energy for meaningless pursuits.

I need to grow and continue to change, to be more like Him each day...
Lord Jesus, mold me.