Lose The Love that Fades (Part 1 of 2)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Tommy's Thoughts:
There are only 2 definition of love; one from God’s and the other from the world. The problems in any relationship today are due to the adoption of the more enticing world’s attitude and pattern of love. I’m grateful to God for showing me again and again his true definition of love; to save me from unnecessary problems, pain, guilt and failure.
I have to admit I’m a hopeless romantic. I can easily throw myself into romance with all the warmth, fuzziness, passion, wonders, mystery, thrill and happiness. It’s like a mental disorder; an out-of-control experience when I “fall” or “madly” in love. All I can think of is that love is solely consists of all these feelings. Little do I know believing that I “fall in love” also mean I can “fall out of love” just as unexpectedly when the warm, fuzzy feeling is gone. I realized now my definition of love was from the world. This distorted and flawed version of love; or to be more accurate “passionate lust” (1 Thessalonians 4:5) will eventually lead to disaster and hurts. Through God’s grace, I am able to learn and practice His version of Love that will withstand all odds and ultimately lasts.
Before I dwell into God’s perspective of Love, let me explain the fallen world’s version of love. Its main ingredients are Selfishness and Irresponsibility. Below are some characteristics and nature of them in a relationship:
Selfishness
- Its all about fulfillment and comfort of self.
- Motivation is self-centered and solely to satisfy own desires and ego; to boast and make one proud in front of others.
- Based entire relationship on feeling by evaluating the quality of love only on own emotional fulfillment.
- Possessiveness, envy, holds grudges, mistrust and does not care about how other feels.
- Filled with hidden agendas. Questions like: "What can you do for me?", "What can I get from you?", "What is it in for me?"
Irresponsibility
- Without putting feeling of love into action.
- Thinking love as something beyond our control and use it as an excuse to behave irresponsibly.
- Manipulative, dishonest and heavy into techniques to push emotional buttons to get something for themselves.
- Pursue romance solely for its own sake. Ditch a relationship when romantic feelings are gone or the going get tough.
- Initiate a romantic relationship prematurely without first knowing the other person well enough in term of background, differences, compatibilities, common interests, preferences, values, goals, dreams, etc.
- Broken promises. Lots of it!
If your relationship exhibits any of the above, you need to get back to God’s original version of Love before it’s too late. In my next post, I will explain God’s definition of Love with practical changes to be applied into your relationship.
Part 2
